The other day I hacked into my girlfriend's Facebook, because lately she's been avoiding me and I thought she was cheating. Turns out she was busy organizing a surprise birthday party for me. Sorry babe!



When I was little I was too lazy to go to the bathroom, so I used to pee from my window. It was alright, because I lived in the country, until one day my dad walked by right as I was peeing. Not only I peed all over him, as I tried to avoid him I peed all over my bedroom.



I babysit just because it's the only way that I have to play with barbies, without looking like a complete idiot.



I never got to say goodbye to my mom, who died when I was 8. I miss her a lot!



I have a birthmark on my cheek that is really puffed up and looks weird. I get stared at all the time - especially by parents who two seconds later tell their kids not to stare. I want to yell at them "STOP STARING AT ME!!!!!" But I settle for making direct, staring eye contact until they look away.


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