One time my mom needed to stop at the bank and I didn't want to go in so she let me stay in the car. We had one of those "suspicious" looking vans and I thought it would be funny to start screaming. Well a person came running up to the car and smashed the window. They thought I was kidnapped._.



When i'm on the train and there is someone reading a book, i look it up on my phone and read the ending. I then proceed to pretend i'm on the phone and i say it out loud LOLOLOL



I used to live with three girl roommates. They hated me and they would bully me and sometimes steal my stuff. Last week I changed house and they sent me an offensive text because i took a lamp with me (i bought it with my own money). Good thing i didn't forget to pee in their shampoo bottles before leaving.



Every morning i make 6 sandwiches. On the way to my office i give one to each of the five homeless guys that live on that street. I love to see their smile when they see me.



My mom posted "yay you're a woman now" on a big sign in front of our house when I got my period.


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