After years of saving my money, I finally got a pet fox. I was just starting to admire its majesty, when it jumped the fence and ran away.



When i was small i went to Legoland, florida to see batman. When i got there i saw this cute guy dressed up as batman. The next day i went to see him again but there was this fat guy dressed up as batman. When i saw him i threw up.



When I was little every time i'd curse I would feel guilty. So I would get on my knees and say "sorry, Lord". Lol



Whaen I was younger I thought I could fly and I bragged about it with everybody. When they asked me to prove it, I jumped off the roof. I ended up breaking my nose and dislocating my shoulder.



I just found out that the birthmark that I had my whole life on my shoulder is actually a fungus, that's been expanding since when I was little. Fml.


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