When I was little my family cursed around me. Once my dad was on the phone and called someone a mother****er. Not knowing what this word meant, later that night when my family was sleeping and I was wide awake, my dad walked into my room and I yelled, "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!". I was grounded for 4 weeks. #NotMyFaultHypocrite
I regret going to my gay friend's house really drunk after my girlfriend just broke up with me. I just woke up in his bed naked, he's naked and sleeping. #fml