I was 6, and I found a condom (not used) on the floor. I opened it and I read it, and it said "roll on head", so I rolled it on my head. Then it said "penis", I didn't know what a penis was, so I ran up to my mom with a condom on my head and said "look mom I'm a penis!".



When I was little I thought I could wake people up by kissing them, like in movies. So when my mom told me to wake my brother up I kissed him. When he woke up and realized what was happening, he freaked out and slapped me.



When I was maybe 13, I had a pool party and there was this guy I liked, so I stuffed my swim top to make it look like I had big boobs. Unfortunately, I got pushed in the pool and all the stuff in my in my top came out...



Every single night I text my grandma, who is the most important person in my life, and say "Night, love you", because I want that to be the last thing she hears from me before she passes away.



Every morning I fart in my moms coffee because she will NEVER lay off.


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