I went to work early one morning to find my boss dancing around in his underwear to music in his office.Trust me, I don't plan to go to work early ever again.



Up until the age of 12, I secretly locked myself into the bathroom and sat on the floor and ate out of the jar of vaseline, my mother always wanted to know why it was going so fast... #SheNeverFoundOut



I once got really high and me and my friends decided to walk around town. I started freaking out and ran away. I woke up in the woods the next morning. #weird



When I was young i broke my dad's phone by rinsing it under the sink. Then panicked, smashed it with a rock and threw the pieces in my brother's room. I told my dad that he broke the phone and looked like the good child.



When I was younger I always wanted to be part of a gangbang, because I thought it was a group of people who made terrible music.


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