When I was going to the airport alone for the first time, I got kind of lost looking for my flight. I was on my way to the beach and I was wearing shorts and a tank top. I stood at a line to a flight I thought was mine. I wanted to look professional, so I acted cool, just looking through my phone. I didn't notice I was on my way to Alaska until a guy with a ski jacket bumped into me. #awkward #stupid



So other day was my birthday, and I decided to dress up in my birthday suit. Guess the cops didn't enjoy that joke. Or the sight for that matter.



When I was little, I thought that the people running for president would actually have a race to be the next president.



When I was little I thought only boys would fart. So when I heard my mom fart for the first time, I ran to my dad and started crying.



The first time I ever made out was at the age of 8. With my slobbering dog. (It was an accident). #fml


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