It was my first time smoking weed so I decided to do it in my bathroom. I ended up falling asleep with everything sitting out on the counter. My mom walked in and asked what the hell I was doing... I was so high I told her I was trying to get pregnant in Narnja.



I farted during a test and I blamed it on the fat guy next to me. #mean #sorry



I was home alone, so I got bored and went in my parent's medicine closet. I found a bottle that said 'juicy pineapple,' so I picked it up. I drank a little, and then i found out it was pineapple flavored lube. #fml



When I was 11 I went to my older brother's house and when I walked Into his room. He was in the shower with his girlfriend and her underwear were on the bed, so I sniffed them, but as i did, my brother caught me. #awkward



When I was little, I thought that people on tv could see me too. So, I use to talk to them and wave. But I kept getting mad because they wouldn't respond to me. Now I know why!


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