My ex's girlfriend hardly knows me, but she hates me. Why? Because he talks in his sleep... And guess who's name he mentions? #lol



Me and my friend went to Las Vegas. We got so drunk, I asked my dad if I could borrow a pad.



I've always thought my first boyfriend was my first kiss, until one day I had a sudden flashback to 2nd grade and remembered that me and my best friend attempted to "make out" in the girls bathroom. We both thought guys had cooties, so we decided to be lesbian together.



When I put on red lipstick, I feel sexy so I talk to myself in the mirror.



Even though I'm a breastfeeding mother I still sneak out for a cigarette.


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