Often times, when I'm alone, I enact situations that I either wish had happened earlier in the past or will happen in the near future. None of the things I say actually happen in reality. #FML #loser




My mum forgot the keys to the house. Had to climb over the gate, onto the roof and through a window in skinny jeans. I sprained my ankle walking down the stairs. FML




I once masturbated, fell off the bed and realized my dad was standing in the doorway. FML




I don't know if it's worse that my girlfriend broke up with me through a text, or the fact that seconds later she said "sorry, wrong and number"... FML!




One day i made my brother really mad and he shouted "your adopted!" In my face. Later that night i told my parents what he said and it turns out it was true. I'm 14 and i just found out I'm adopted. FML



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