The other day I hacked into my girlfriend's Facebook, because lately she's been avoiding me and I thought she was cheating. Turns out she was busy organizing a surprise birthday party for me. sorry babe!
When i was 5 i lived in Germany and i had a kitten. Her name was Max like the dog from the Grinch. She had trouble going to the bathroom so i "helped" by squeezing the poor kitten until it pooped... Max mysteriously ran away the next week. sorry Max, hope you poop ok now.
I don't know if it's worse that my girlfriend broke up with me through a text, or the fact that seconds later she said "sorry, wrong and number"... Fml!
I sent a guy a pic of me in a bikini top. I said sorry if my ugliness shocked you. He said "no shock, I was expecting it". I think I might stay single forever.