I have two friends whom I love dearly. They are engaged. Have been for a while. Yet when my friend texts me and it leads to dirty messages, I can't seem to say no. Or when it's other confrontations. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to be with him. I just can't say no.



For four years, I've been living a lie. Been with this girl and I don't love her, never told her I loved her. On her dad's deathbed he told her to marry me so I felt obligated to be with her. I even had a baby with her. I'm pretty much a douche bag.



When I'm extremely upset at my fiance I don't think of ways to 'make her pay', rather I try to think of some romantic gesture to remind myself that I love her, and that these are the thoughts she deserves from me.



When I was little I really loved the movie "Lilo and Stich". I had a speech problem so everytime I wanted to watch it I said "I want the bitch". Everytime I got spanked!



I've been married for two and a half years but have been with my husband for five years all together. I did not marry him for love and am now regretting my decision. I want more in life then a loveless marriage. I want love and passion.


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