my secret is I've been with an abusive boyfriend for almost 3 years and I'm completely in love with him. I'm begining to hate myself for loving him. the worst part yet is I'm pretty sure he's homo. I'm aware and still in love with him. I still can't leave him . lately in his sleep he's been begging me to f*** him and make him my b*** among other things. I don't have heart to tell him what he says.