I used to live with three girl roommates. They hated me and they would bully me and sometimes steal my stuff. Last week I changed house and they sent me an offensive text because i took a lamp with me (i bought it with my own money). Good thing i didn't forget to pee in their shampoo bottles before leaving.



The other day I hacked into my girlfriend's Facebook, because lately she's been avoiding me and I thought she was cheating. Turns out she was busy organizing a surprise birthday party for me. Sorry babe!



I'm 18 and I still have the boobs of a 12 year old. But at least I don't spend much on bras! #yetdeveloped



One time, I went to the doctors because I was having morning sickness and I thought I was pregnant. When I finally went to the doctor he told me I was pregnant with a big smile. I was really happy, but then he quickly said "no I'm just kidding, you just have a stomach bug."



I'm scared of staying home alone, so when my mom leaves, I walk around with my BB gun, just in case a thief breaks into the house. I know it's stupid, but it's the only way I feel safe!


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