When I was little my family cursed around me. Once my dad was on the phone and called someone a mother****er. Not knowing what this word meant, later that night when my family was sleeping and I was wide awake, my dad walked into my room and I yelled, "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!". I was grounded for 4 weeks. #NotMyFaultHypocrite
Every time I take a book in the library, I write the ending on the first page, so that I ruin it for everybody else after me. #lol #mean
When I was in 6th Grade, I went to the toilet and was going to pee like a boy... I thought I was pretty good at it until some pee trickled down my leg...
And by some, I mean lots...
I told my kids to mark their territory once, and when I walked in the living room a minute later, I saw them peeing all over the carpet as their territory... I guess they didn't know I meant mark their height on the wall :|