The first time I ever made out was at the age of 8. With my slobbering dog. (It was an accident). #FML
I regret going to my gay friend's house really drunk after my girlfriend just broke up with me. I just woke up in his bed naked, he's naked and sleeping. #FML
I was home alone, so I got bored and went in my parent's medicine closet. I found a bottle that said 'juicy pineapple,' so I picked it up. I drank a little, and then i found out it was pineapple flavored lube. #FML
Often times, when I'm alone, I enact situations that I either wish had happened earlier in the past or will happen in the near future. None of the things I say actually happen in reality. #FML #loser
I like to get into the email accounts of people I know. I found out a guy I know is using his girlfriend and she is just a side girl. I copied all the proof I could, made a fake email and sent it to her, and sent him a few emails too. I don't know what happened but I hope she dumps him and finds someone better. And that's the closest i've ever been to relationship. FML