There's this older girl at my school who everyone thinks is a lesbian. Last year she cut her hair short, which is why. Secretly I started really liking her even though I don't know her. Last month I cut my own hair short. I still think she's absolutely adorable but I haven't had the nerve to say hi. Dunno if anyone picked up that I'm a lesbian, lol.
I put green food coloring in my girlfriend's shower head. She now looks like Hulk and refuses to go to work. lol!
When I was little every time i'd curse I would feel guilty. So I would get on my knees and say "sorry, Lord". lol
I named my daughter after my favorite pornstar and my wife thinks it's because it's my great-aunt's name. lol
My little sister thinks she is a fairy. One day she told me she wanted pixie dust to fly and I told her to pee in a bowl, put sand in it and put it on her body. Ten minutes later she came to me crying she was smelling like pee and told me that she is too heavy for the pixie dust to lift her up. lol