When I was in the 1st grade. These guys' taught me what gay meant. They told me it was liking guys. So, me being a girl and only having a partial definition, I was like." does that make me gay? I like boys" they started laughing and never told me anything. I walked around saying I was gay in, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade. and I was frequently laughed at and I thought It was funny too. Until i told my mom.
I always had this irrational fear that only me and my family could see the clothes we had on (because I thought we were mentally ill), and that people didn't tell us , because they didn't want to be mean to mentally ill people. I was so afraid people were looking (and laughing) at my "willy" that I made a habit out of wearing two pairs of underwear... Just to be safe!
Yesterday my step-brother asked if I loved him. I said "of course" thinking he meant like a brother-sister kind of love, but before I knew it, he was kissing me... I awkwardly liked it, a lot...