When I was 11 I was starting to lose faith in santa's existence so to convince me he was real my dad dressed up like him and made a lot of noise Christmas night. I went out to see what all the commotion was and saw an obvious impostor, so I snuck back to my room, grabbed my pellet gun, and called the police. Inevitably i shot my dad about 40 times and got a swat team response.
When I was 10 I was playing with my brothers bebe gun and I shot the vase with my uncle's girlfriends ashes in it and blamed on the cat. We gave the cat away because of that.
One time, when my friend was over, we were going to go in my brother's room to use his legos, but when we walked in he had his penis in a hotdog bun and was taking pictures.
The other night I had a dream that I was at this hotel in a really nice bathroom going to the bathroom. When I have woke up I had actually peed myself.