I told my kids to mark their territory once, and when I walked in the living room a minute later, I saw them peeing all over the carpet as their territory... I guess they didn't know I meant mark their height on the wall :|




Yesterday my step-brother asked if I loved him. I said "of course" thinking he meant like a brother-sister kind of love, but before I knew it, he was kissing me... I awkwardly liked it, a lot...




When I was in 6th Grade, I went to the toilet and was going to pee like a boy... I thought I was pretty good at it until some pee trickled down my leg... And by some, I mean lots...




I'm glad that my parents still have sex, because it means that they still love each other. But I'd like to tell them that walls are very thin in our house and some of the sounds they do make me really uncomfortable.




When I was 11 my grandma told me that when someone dies they void their bowels. I didn't understand what she meant fully so when I got pretty bad diarrhea one day, I thought I was going to die and I gave away all my pokemon cards...



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