I put green food coloring in my girlfriend's shower head. She now looks like Hulk and refuses to go to work. lol!
When I was 8 I shaved my dad's eye brow off while he was sleeping. Then i blamed it on my brother. He was grounded for three weeks, lol!
I work as a masseur in a spa, and when customers are pretty women, i pretend i'm gay, so i can touch them everywhere without them complaining. lol
Once I ate a whole plate of fries before going the mall, and puked in front of Abercrombie. You should have seen the models' faces lol.
I named my daughter after my favorite pornstar and my wife thinks it's because it's my great-aunt's name. lol