Okay so last night I was at my boyfriend house. We were in bed sleeping and I had to fart really bad.. So I did what I had to do was best. I farted really loud and it smelled really bad, it actually woke him up and he look at me with a funny face. I told him he farted in his sleep and he was gross for doing it because it woke me up. Now I feel bad for blaming it on him, But oh well.
Me and my little sister are going to Disney World this year and she was getting on my nerves because she was talking about it way too much. I decided it would be funny to tell her that Mickey Mouse was a murderer and now she's terrified to go, but it got her to shut up so I don't feel guilty.
I twist almost every story I tell people because my life really isn't that interesting. I'm a pathological liar, and everyone thinks I'm really funny and interesting. In reality I am depressing, weird, and boring.
Four years ago I needed to go get my hair done, so I went to my mom, but she was in her room and behind the door I could hear her making funny noises. So I walk in normally and I see them... having sex! My dad looked up and stared me in the eye, said "shhhh" and pointed to the door. I backed out really fast. Now whenever I hear my mom making that noise I hide!
I think there is a camera in the shower head and I act as sexy as possible, but end up looking ridiculous. #funny #stupid