I find older guys attractive and they can't resist me. I'm too young and too experienced. I cry at night because I wish I could have normal teen crushes but instead I'm kissing young men in college and hot married men. Why do I chose this life?
When I was 11 I was starting to lose faith in santa's existence so to convince me he was real my dad dressed up like him and made a lot of noise Christmas night. I went out to see what all the commotion was and saw an obvious impostor, so I snuck back to my room, grabbed my pellet gun, and called the police. Inevitably i shot my dad about 40 times and got a swat team response.
Yesterday, i got fired for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it, my boss just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't.
One time, when my friend was over, we were going to go in my brother's room to use his legos, but when we walked in he had his penis in a hotdog bun and was taking pictures.