I don't know if it's worse that my girlfriend broke up with me through a text, or the fact that seconds later she said "sorry, wrong and number"... Fml!



I fart in water bottles and sell them to people. One man said that my water tastes amazing.



When I was 4, my cat pooped on the floor and i thought it was chocolate and ate it. No one knew until my mom found brown around my mouth and the poop with a bite mark in it. She got rid of our cat and got a fish. I miss Snowball V :'(



You know those cracked screen apps that is you touch the screen it will "crack"? Well, I got that and showed my little sister and she said she could do that too. She got her phone and broke it with her finger. I reset mine and said can you reset yours? She said "I can wash it off" as she was trying to wash it off (with alcohol) it caught on fire. She threw it outside into our pool. Oh stupid people...



When I was 5, my brother and I slept at my aunts house. She was 5 minutes not there because she put the rubbish out. My brother had to go to toilet but he didn't know where it is. So he made on my aunts carpet. She thought it was her cat.


Prev
Next