One time, when my friend was over, we were going to go in my brother's room to use his legos, but when we walked in he had his penis in a hotdog bun and was taking pictures.
When I was 11 I was starting to lose faith in santa's existence so to convince me he was real my dad dressed up like him and made a lot of noise Christmas night. I went out to see what all the commotion was and saw an obvious impostor, so I snuck back to my room, grabbed my pellet gun, and called the police. Inevitably i shot my dad about 40 times and got a swat team response.
When I found out I was adopted I asked my parents what happened to my real parents. They looked at eachother and told me they died in a fire. I asked how they knew that, and they said "because we were there". Wtf?!
One time when I was in school with my now ex boyfriend we were kissing and he's taller then me so I got on my toes and when I did I slipped a little and fell over, and while I was falling someone walking by said "drop it like its hot".
When I was little I thought tampons were fake bullets. Me and my friends would use slingshots and shoot tampons at each other and leave them all over the front yard.