When i ride the bus i like to pretend i'm listening to music with my headphones. Actually i listen to what people say. They think they are safe LOL!




One time when I was like 6 I accidentally swallowed a piece of bubble gum and I cried all day, because I thought I was going to die.




Today I was eating an ice cream and I noticed a drop on my pants. I licked it and realized that it wasn't my ice cream. It was bird shit.




About 3 years ago, I got an erection while in class. The teacher thought I was using my cell phone so she came and grabbed it!




When I was little my mom always told me that if I looked at a naked lady I'd turn to stone. But one day I was in the woods and saw a naked woman bathing. I forgot about what my mom said and kept watching. I should have listened, out of nowhere part of my body started getting hard. I've never ran faster in my life.



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