When i was little i was watching Cinderella, and i thought that if i broke the screen of the tv the characters would come out and play with me. It didn't go too well...



I keep in contact with all my ex's and girls who shot me down just so I can ruin their lives any way I can by giving them bad advice that seems good. I get a kick out of this.



I once masturbated, fell off the bed and realized my dad was standing in the doorway. FML



Once I was in the mall and I had to fart really really badly so I went up to the fattest ugliest guy I could find and I walked behind him... I farted and screamed "EW YOU SICKO" and ran away... Everyone looked and he got arrested because someone thought he touched me...



I gave my brother a blowjob a couple of months ago. I still can't understand how i could do something so bad.


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