One time I got drunk, ran outside naked, went up to this hot guy and said "My boobs are marshmallows, feel them!".
I saw a dog attack a kid in my neighborhood so from inside my house i shot the dog. No one knows where the bullet came from.
One time, when my friend was over, we were going to go in my brother's room to use his legos, but when we walked in he had his penis in a hotdog bun and was taking pictures.
I keep in contact with all my ex's and girls who shot me down just so I can ruin their lives any way I can by giving them bad advice that seems good. I get a kick out of this.
When was young i used to climb in the fish tank because it was really big and it felt like a huge bath with hot water.