When I was a kid I believed that swallowing seeds from fruits might cause a plant to grow inside me.



When I was in younger this guy would always bully me. He lives close to me, and last week, he got a brand new Cadillac. I felt great keying both sides of it.



I lost my virginity on 07-07-07. Which happen to be my moms birthday.



My dad is a cop. He thinks it's funny to give me tickets.



One time my neighbors were being extremely loud, and when I went to tell them to please be quite they told me to go screw myself. So I went home and ordered pizza to their house from 7 different restaurants, and spent the night waiting for pizza guys to bother them


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